Everything Happens For A Reason
This is one of my life mantras and the older I get, and with each passing year, the more I find this to be true. The people we meet, the opportunities in front of us, and each and every day in our lives is full of purpose. All part of a bigger picture we often cannot see or fully comprehend in the moment at hand. Today I was reminded of this in myriad of ways, and for that I am grateful.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of my favorite quotes and one which I found myself revisiting throughout 2014. When I first stepped back on a treadmill this past January 14th, I could barely run two miles and had to take walking breaks. At the end of my first run I was tempted to give up and could not imagine how I would ever get back in shape (nor how I had found myself back in a place where I had fallen so far out of shape).
If someone had told me on that day that "a year from now you will be training for the Boston Marathon," I would have laughed in their face. I would not, and could not, have believed them. And yet, here I am. In training for my first marathon, down fifty pounds, and having run multiple races including my first half marathon. For comparison, here is a look at today's run.
When I look back on the past year or compare these two runs, it seems incredible. Yet this did not happen overnight. It has been a journey requiring focus, discipline, commitment, and moderation. Some days are easier than others, some harder. Some days I make healthy and well planned choices, and some days I do not. But I keep going and I am making my way back to my healthiest and happiest self.
Given the accomplishments of this past year, one would think I would be charging toward my marathon goal without any fear or doubts. The truth is, I am terrified. Terrified that all of you are rooting for me and I may let you down. Terrified that Marathon Monday may come and I may not be able to finish. And terrified that I may not reach my goals.
And yet, Emerson's quote reminds me where my focus should truly be. Not in dwelling upon what I have accomplished this past year nor in fearing what I have yet to accomplish, but rather in knowing that neither is possible without the strength that lies within each of us.
More than anything else, this past year has taught me to keep setting the bar higher and that, when you do, you will find a way to keep reaching farther and dreaming bigger. This past March when I found out I was running Falmouth for Dana-Farber, I told everyone "I could never run a marathon but these seven miles are the closet I will get!" This while barely being able to run 4 miles and wondering how I would ever run 7 miles by August.
But I did it.
And then I wondered how I would ever run 13.1 miles. And I did that.
So now I sit here wondering how in the heck I will ever run 26.2 miles in the year ahead and yet, while I can't quite answer the "how" part, I know that I will. And I also know that this is about so much more than a mere running goal. It is about the stories you are sharing about loved ones fighting this awful disease, it is about friendships being made, the impact we are making, and learning how strong we really and truly are.
So bring it on 2015. I am ready for you.
Wishing you all health, happiness, and joy in this year before us!
Quick pitstop in front of a First Night ice sculpture in Brookline during today's
"Welly Ellie" 11 Mile Run with awesome running partners Kate (left) and Carol (center)